It's another horrifying weekend at the movies! The much-hyped and long-awaited Grindhouse, featuring two movies in one direced by Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez with an intermission of supposedly ultra-grody horror previews, hits the big screen. Not since Four Rooms has a vanity project this indulgent hit the screen, with the possible exception of The Passion of the Christ, of course. Like that controversial movie, this new one is also going to be controversial, plus it's super-gross and over three hours long!
Call me crazy, but a horror double-feature where I have to spend three hours wondering when I'll have to look away from the screen--because of naked women-parts as well as gone!--does not sound like my idea of a good time. However, I'm sure many of you disagree, so please let me know whether this is worth the ticket.
In The Reaping, Hilary Swank lends her considerable talent to a horror tale about a town that seems to eb suffering from biblical plagues. What is it with religious and horror mixing in the movies? I guess some of those old Bible stories would probably be considered horror movies if they were filmed, but just makae a documentary of Sunday school classes in rural Iowa and it'll be scarier than The Shining. I mean, just the food! The memories I have of Jell-O salads, dump bars, and techicolor sandwich loaves will linger long after I can enter a cave without The Descent ruining my nerves.
Anyway, a bonus in this film is the casting of Idris Elba, whose resume includes the bizarre TV combination of "Absolutely Fabulous" (the fabulicious "Sex" episode: "Razzle? Month? Year?") and "The Wire." Then again, with two horror movies for the price of one competing with it, this may not be the best weekend for the movie to open. Hopefully god will lead it to box office success.
For those of you who want to go the opposite direction, and for kids of all ages but, according to reviews, lower than average maturity levels, there's always Are We There Yet? Now, I would rather poke my eyes out (with a crucifix-shaped knife just to stay in theme, and while a trendy but obscure 70's rock song is playing, just for Quentino) than see this movie, and this is coming from someone who saw Home Alone six times in a theater. Of course, that was years ago, but watching someone get hurt and act klutzy in the suburbs ala bad sitcoms is not going to attract my movie-going ticket.
It's too bad that when we had good weather a couple of weeks ago, the premieres were exciting, while now it's cold but the new movies look awful. I guess it'll be a good weekend to catch up on older movies and maybe do some knitting and crocheting, if you catch my drift. Have a delicious weekend and don't forget to have a mimosa or a bloody mary, or several, on Easter for me! May your holiday otherwise be horror-free, religious or not.
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