Once again, I am falling in love with an ANTM contestant who, evven by the show's hilariously low standards, couldn't possibly ever be mistaken for someone pretending to be a model in real life. Oh, Jael, I'm so glad you and your incoherent but brilliant commentary stuck around for at least one more week! Now with Whitney's ouster, this Cycle is fat-free! Don't get mad at me--I would kill for her waistline--but she deserved to go for unrelated reasons.
This was family reunion week for Dionne and Renee, so we met their children, Renee's husband, and Dionne's ghetto-tastic family. I had forgotton about her sordid family history (drugs, guns, and wheelchairs) from the premiere! Then, as if not enough had already been packed into the episode, the photo shoot was recreating infamous scenes from ANTM history. With former contestants! It was a lovely stroll down memory lane, although I the absence of Jade and Tiffani made me sad. Overall, Natasha is still my fantasy mail (or is that male? No, that's Jaslene!) order spouse, or would be in an alternate world.
I'm sure she waked upu every day looking like this . . . But J.Lo was another surprisingly helpful and articulate "Idol" guest judge. The Latin Week theme was, unfortunately, a bad idea. What kind of bizarre and extreme limits are on the songs they can get cleared? Seriously, this was a mix of Gloria Estefan, Carlos Santana, and then non-Latin songs by those artists. "Turn the Beat Around?" Haley turned something around, and got turned away too. I won't miss her--go join the USO.
Despite his increasingly awful fashion, Blake is still my favorite male on the show. I was really hoping Melinda would sing "Yo Quiero Bailar" by Sonia y Selena, or that anyone would sing anything by Selena, but it was boring crap after boring crap. Sanjaya finished the performance show with drag king facial hair and a few Spanish phrases, but the idea that anyone hsi seduced by his offer to besame mucho makes my genitals implode. Which can only help my drag career!
Finally, Bravo debuted yet another flaming reality competition last night, "Shear Genius." Jaclyn Smith lends her angelic fame (and hair, although it's nothing special) to this show. I wasn't able to watch the premiere, but since it will be on Bravo about 300 more times over the next five minutes, I'm sure I will be able to catch up. My only two hopes: better than "Top Design" and no one references "The Rachel" except in an explicitly negative light.
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