Monday, March 12, 2007

Mr. BJ Goes to Washington for March 12, 2007



Saturday brought the death of one of the most exciting gay cultural traditions in the country: gay night at the Roxy in New York. I wish I could have been there to cry into my sex on the beach while watching go-go boys oscillate tragically to "Last Dance" (final DJ Peter Rauhofer played it twice in to row to end the party). Instead, I was watching some fat bitch drag queen doing "You Oughta Know" at a charity event for my travel agency, Pegasus Wings. The only interesting part of the evening was when a bunch of drunk Japanese businessmen stumbled in and one of them wound up performing a duet to "Lost in Your Eyes" with Miss Carriage.

Anyway, I had always planned on earning my Roxy wings one day, but there were so many other gay experiences I wanted to have in New York, I never made it. Look at Madonna performing at the Roxy above, shed a single glittering disco-tear, and pray that Happy Valley will still be fabulous when I hit the big gay apple next month.



According to right-wing columnist Madeline Crabb, we're not headed to Hell, but we are headed to Sodom and Gomorrah! I think I'm going to see if Pegasus Wings can offer a big, hot package to that sinfully fantastic destination! In this article, Crabb, the founder of the vaguely named Reclaiming Our Republic Campaign, rants about teachers who dare expose our youngsters to the seedy genital-like evil of homo-hood!

Seriously, I'm no English major (Econ here!), but I don't think Crabby knows what the word "indoctrinate" means. (Her hair is another issue, but that hardly needs pointing out.) Some stupid bitch worrying that gay is going to become "normal" is so passe. If these morons can't tell the difference between teaching people that everyone isn't straight and recruiting 6-year-olds to experiment with buttplay, I say we ship them off to Fire Island for the summer, lock them up, and force them to watch episodes of "Seventh Heaven" until they give in.

Then again, maybe Crabb is right in a way. According to this piece, things are looking good for the Q's right here in Chicago--better yet, the burbs! The "mother of eight" in Deerfield may be bitter than God told her not to use condoms, but there's no reason to take it out on the poor BLT's just trying to be heard.

And the poor, poor homophobic bigots in the school are complaining about being bullied just because they hate gays! Oh, cry me a motherfucking river. If my child came home from from school crying because someone correctly called him a bigot, I'd ask where it hurts and bitch slap the tender area to make it worse.

Anyway, enough politics for one day. All this serious talk is making me long for a bag of Skittles and my Troop Beverly Hills DVD, so I'll see you tomorrow when we get back to what really matters: trashy pop culture dish!

1 comment:

Editorial said...

I'm always so much more relaxed once I've had my daily BJ.