"Welcome to IHOP! We'll be happy to serve you as long as you aren't lesbians! What, you thought we were lesbians? Do we look like carpet munchers to you? I'm sorry, but that Subaru in the parking lot belongs to our MALE manager, Terry. No, we didn't choose the Muzak version of Dar Williams playing in the background. Now get out! No, that's not what we mean . . ."
In case you haven't heard about this incident in Missouri yet, here's the story: A couple of lesbyterians exchanged a kiss at their local IHOP and got booted. Now, I have to assume that there is a reason a lesbian couple were in Missouri in the first place, and then there was a reason they were at IHOP, and then there was a reason they were so happy in said IHOP that they decided to smooch.
But while my mind boggles, I am still outraged that the staff at such a trashy, disgusting restaurant would think they could take the moral high ground. I mean, I have been to the rural pancake-houses of horror in the Midwest. I have seen the customers at Shoney's and IHOP, and I can assure you that there are worse moral crimes than muff diving frequently committed by the people who frequent them. For starters: incest, bestiality, stone-washed denim (with elastic cuffs!), and many more.
In local news, a warning for participants in the Chicago nightlife scene: Next time you are approached by a clean-cut, well-built man in a polo shirt and khakis, and he's reeking of alcohol and dying to swing for the night, watch out! According to this terrifying story in the Sun Times, the CPD has undercover cops pretending to be drunk. Sure, this guy focuses on violent robbers and beggars, but from what I know about straight men undercover, whether drunk or pretending to be drunk, I think the gay community should take this very seriously. Don't think until you can't think, or you might wind up in the pink, and you know what they say about being forced to give up the pink in the clink!
Finally, on a more serious note:
A More Serious BJ
As you all know, it is the fourth anniversary of the war in Iraq. I have nothing to add about how ridiculous this was is, and how our president bascially sucks in every way possible. So, I want to send out my wishes for the unfortunate people in Iraq. May you suffer less in the future, and may our ignorant American countrymen and women leave you alone or at least try to undo the damage they've done in your country.
I know it is a sad state of affairs when this woman won the Miss Iraq 2006 pageant. On behalf of all the politically aware gays in America, this is BJ, wishing you a much, much, much more attractive and glamorous future.
No comments:
Post a Comment