Attention Chicago residents: The El is in danger! I'm sure everyone has stories about how much the service sucks. Just last weekend I had to wait over 15 minutes while I was carrying three large shopping bads from Bed, Bath, and Boyfriends! I know I need the exercise but there's a reason people pay for gym memberships and it isn't because they can get the same workout for free without planning it.
Anyway, according to this article in today's New York Times, commute times will be twice as long for the next two years, and major construction will cause trauma and delays on various lines in the near future. I think I speak for everyone in our fine city when I say: public transport is filled with trashy people, drunks, and beggars. If you're willing to deal with that, a delay and a rerouting are the least of your problems. Get a car, take a taxi, or ride a Segway! I know I plan to boycott the El starting this moment.
The verdict has finally arrived: Anna Nicole died of an "accidental overdose." It seems sensible enough, but I'm sure there will be countless conspiracy theories about his tragedy for years. Like Elvis and Tupac, Anna Nicole seems destined to be the subject of Oliver Stone-esque mystery and intrigue. Was it relatives of that really old guy she was once married to? Was it angry TrimSpa customers who didn't lose 69 pounds like Anna? Was it that ugly lesbian who followed her around on her TV show? We may never know.
I know that Anna Nicole is huge in the gay community, and it certianly isn't like me to say no to a drug-addicted train wreck with giant tits, but there was just something missing about her. With Marilyn and Liza and even Cher, there is always a hint of class even during the most explosive train wrecks. Plus, those divas made music and movies that I love. Sure, I laughed at Naked Gun 33 1/3 when I was 13, but I was laughing at her. Never with her. Nonetheless, R.I.P. Anna, if you are really dead.
In other news, I was going to mention the whole Alberto Gonzalez thing, but I really don't know much about the whole issue, and you can read about it everywhere else. I guess he should be kicked out or whatever, but honestly, I'm more interested in the face that Janice Dickinson got banend from L.A. fashion week after her horrible behavior there. Does that count as politics? I'm beginning to rethink the whole Monday politics thing on this blog. Mondays are dreary enough as it is. If anyone has suggestions for a replacement topic, I'm all ears.
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