Yesterday, the new season of ANTM continued its dragtastic theme with a photo shoot where the girls as men alongside men in drag. The fake facial hair was worthy of a fantastic drag king, but you have to think the shoot unfairy benefited Jaslene. Transsexuals do drag? They don't even have that in Boys' Town! Anyway, Jaslene and Natasha were incredible. Natasha created her own grill from a gum wrapper, showing her Russian mail order bride ingenuity. Is she a secret genius underneath her facade of broken English and incoherence?
Meanwhile, the plus-sizers contineud to suck, and it was the dumb and inarticulate Diane who got the boot. Apparently brevity is the soul of stupidity sometimes! Also, if you missed last week's photo shoot and want to see the murderous images, don't go to the CW site, because they aren't there! Is this symbolism, or did the network bow to controversy? Finally, despite horrifyiing reports this might be the final Cycle, they are currently casting for the ninth! I was so excited to see the ad during last night's broadcast, and you can also sign up at the CW website. So, if you're fierce, tall enough, and crazy but not diagnosable, get online and become a part of pop culture.
Is he calling a hitman to off Sanjaya? There's a debate among "Idol" fans whether the PTB are angry that Sanjaya is ruining the show, or whether they're laughing all the way to the bank and putting on a public show of outrage. I'm going to reserve judgment until people I care about get kicked off the show, because I would rather see the next entry in the Sanjaya Updos of the Damned (or whatever the Hindu equivalent is) than tolerate another train-wreck performance by the Slight Christian Rocker. Good riddance! Go back to your youth ministry and take your Jars of Clay CDs with you.
This was a rather boring week on the show, despite two Donna Summer tracks and one of my favorite MTV hits from the recent past, "Hey Baby." Too bad Jordin Sparks has been outed as a pro-life freak. I suppose we're all lucky they don't outright ask the contestants for their opinions on gay marriage, because I have a feeling I would have to take my fat gay atheist ass off the couch for two and a half hours a week.
Then again, there's always new shoes to fill the gaps. This Sunday is the premiere of Showtime's new series "The Tudors," starring Jonathan Rhys Meyers. I will be any wife of his Henry VIII he wants me to be! I don't know if this is supposed to capitalize on the "Rome" popularity, but now that I can't see the nudity and homoerotic tension on HBO every Sunday, this is probably worth a try.
Finally, as if Bravo! wasn't running its gay reality franchise into the ground with the horrendous "Top Design," they have just started advertising the next and even gayer addition: Shear Genius. Terrible name, terrible idea: America's Next Top Hair Stylist. Of course, it can't be worse than "Blowout," or can it? The contestants, including several foreigners and a man apparently named Dr. Boogie, look intriguing enough, but I'm predicting a bomb that will make "Top Design" look like season one of "Project Runway." I say it's time to bright back "Are You Hot?" just so the breeders can share some of the embarrassment.
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